I love that some people can just say what they are thinking.  I love that though I feel most people are inherently good, as of late I have come to realize they unfortunately are not.

I have found that most people...and in fact most of the people that I have become close with are actually CRAP.  They look at life as though it were a plethora of good times and believe that nothing is precious.  I.  Most people are confused.  Most people would (in my world) think, that the we live in a good place, but I think that most people think primarily about themselves!!!!  They tend to look at themselves and wonder where they can get and how they can get it without the slightest worry about what might happen.  I want to know where the people are that say "Bless you" after a person sneezes.  I want someone to offer me a coffee and actually MEAN it.  If you are in a room full of people and someone is going to fucking TIMMIEs, you should ask if they want a coffee.  You should hold the door open if someone...female or not is walking toward it.  You should think of others before thinking of yourself and consider the fact that the children that we raise are the parents of the future. Don't walk in front of someone struggling with 3 children in a single-seeating cart and get in the way!!!  Don't pull up next to someone on the road and roll down your window and start a fight over who had the right-of-way unless you are doing it to apologise!  

I was working some time ago at the devil's playground...(my affectionate name for Blockbuster video) and was carrying a pile of about 40 movies.  I was busy and I was trying to get those titles out that people were freaking out over.  People were coming up to me and pulling titles out from the middle and bottom of the pile and I was smiling and saying, "if this falls it's on your shoulders."  It was in as much fun as the pit can be...when all of a sudden the 18 or so remaining dvd's fell to the ground.  There were 2 people in front of me that laughed!  They laughed, bent down as if to help and grabbed the films they were looking for and left me to the clean-up!  What the HELL???  So then this nice man came up and helped me pick up the rest.  I was so pissed off that those other people only cared about themselves, but I decided to have some fun with it.  The one guy who had snickered about it and walked away was waiting in line.  Hee hee.....So I walked up to the counter with the customer that had helped me and opened up a till just to serve him.  The guy in line had been waiting for 10 minutes or so in a busy Friday line-up...lol...  So the guy who was an asshole...came up to the till next to mine where a new trainee was waiting and began getting served.  I made a point of telling the man who had helped me to roll with the next few minutes as I thought it the perfect time to teach a lesson...hee hee... So the asshole begins to have trouble with the new trainee and she looks to me for some help, to which I said, "sure one minute..." make him wait.  Then my customer...the nice guy...his movies came to $18 or so and I cleared off his balance and thanked him for his help.  DUDE WAS SHOCKED!  He looked at me and the nice guy and went all red in the face.  He couldn't believe it!  He says, "you are a manager?"  I said "yup."  He says, "why were you doing the job of the regular employees?"  To which I said, "Because what kind of a person would I be if I didn't take a turn at doing the same job I ask them to do?"  To which he said, "I guess I should have helped you with the dropped films."  To which I replied..."YUP.  Guess so."

My customer left feeling AWESOME and I had an great shift.  Maybe the next time someone has trouble, the asshole will think twice about helping.  Maybe. 

AND....what happened to people raising children with manners???  How hard is ti to say "please???"  Besides "dada and mama, my kids learned their manners above all else and they are always welcome to places. 

So I am ranting while inebriated.  I am ranting in a stew and need to be loved and told that though most people are messed that the people in my life don’t feel that way.  The people that I have so recently associated with like to try and walk all over me, but the people that really KNOW me can feel my passion and understand that having a trust in people is important to me.  If you thought longingly about the way that you wanted to be treated, would it include a lazy, boring asshole that never told you they loved you and blessed you when you sneezed????  Or would that person gaze into your eyes and love you and know that you were this person that was sensitive and wanted to think that people were inheritantly good…and in feeling this and knowing YOU would coddle this thought process and bash the hell out of people that tried to burst your bubble.  My BIG LOVE treats me like a queen.  He was the one that convinced me that there were REAL people out there that didn't SUCK BALLS.  And now he is the cynic and I am the believer.  So how does that happen?  I tend to leave my heart out on my sleeve for the elements and he researves the right to let people know they are shit. 

I am Lost in a sea of discontent thinking about the people that still reside in a land of contentment.  I will send them a postcard from the edge and see how it all turned out.